Hrrrmmph!!!

One of the things that I absolutely and vehemently loathe is a visit to the dentist. I so dread it!!! So much so that I take extra care of my pearlies to avoid visiting Mr. Dentist! In my mind, all dentists are horrible monsters with hairy hands, waiting to explore the inner confines of my mouth and wreak havoc there! What is surprising is that no number of nice, sweet dentists seem to change this perception of mine!

Anyway, if you're wondering why I've suddenly started this tirade on visits to the dentist, it's because I had to go to one yesterday! Well, the experience was pretty uneventful. He was a nice man, who did not have hairy hands (he was wearing those surgical gloves :-D), and he did not fiddle around inside my mouth much! But, is that going to make me more amiable to dentists and not squirm thinking about even routine dental checkups?!? No way!!! I still plan to keep all dentists and their horrible little instruments and tools at an arm's length! I mean, have you seen the tools they carry in their deceptively sweet, little tool boxes?!? They are veritable pandora's boxes, waiting to be opened by an unsuspecting, gullible patient!!! A glimpse at the assortment of tools (oh yes, they are tools alright!) in them is enough to cause a cardiac arrest in any moderately sensitized individual! They resemble miniature versions of things that maybe, carpenters, or even machinery builders, would use!!! The first time I heard the whirring sound of the dentist's drill, I almost jumped out of my skin!!! I mean, does he really think he's going to use that inside my mouth!?! What does he think my mouth is? A hole in a wall of cement, made using a similar drill or something!!! :-O

When I was a kid, my mother and an aunt decided that I needed braces! I kicked and screamed and ranted, all to no avail! I was promptly taken to the dentist! What followed resembled a scene straight out of a Hollywood children's flick! I kept a sullen face throughout, and it was a miracle that I did not snap the poor man's hand right off!!! Then, he started sharpening that menacing little drill of his! I almost bolted from the chair when I heard the whiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr; my worst nightmare was coming true! Also, what is with those chairs!?! They make you recline all the way back; makes me feel like a goat laid to slaughter! Or, like one of those chairs the psychiatrists make you lie down on!!! Creepy!

Well, as I live to tell the tale, it's obvious that I somehow got through the ordeal! But, I made a vow; a vow that I would never ever let anything even closely resembling that little devil of a drill, anywhere near my teeth! With my teeth all nicely wired and braced, I was almost certain that I would never set foot in those horrible premises ever again! As luck would have it, I returned in a couple years time! :-( I had played hookey and refused to wear my braces after the initial few days. After being on my back for a loooooong time, my parents gave up trying to make me wear them. I was convinced that the matter had been put to rest! Unfortunately for me, that very same aunt again decided that I'd been comfortably happy for way too long, and before I knew it, I found myself sitting on that very same reclining chair! I was let go only when I had been nicely wired up again! Of course, I had learnt my lesson! I kept them on till asked to remove them, when I promptly refused to do so! Well, before you shake your heads in disbelief, it was just that I had become so used to them that I felt something was amiss in my mouth when they were finally removed! Nevertheless, I was a free soul again! I didn't ever want to see the inside of a dentist's clinic for as long as I inhabited this earth, and I truly believed that this time, the vow was for keeps! My bubble burst yesterday! Oh well, actually, a few years earlier! I've realized that there is no escape from routine dental checkups, but am I one to accept it?!? Heck, no!!! After having gone through the ordeal yesterday with much trepidation, I've renewed my old vows! Never again am I setting foot in a dentist's clinic! Hrrrmmph!!!